Our facilitation and training materials are designed to help
you support parents – whether they are married, cohabiting,
in civil partnerships, separated or parenting alone –
in dealing with relationship conflict and reducing its negative
impact on children.
Conflict is not the easiest subject to handle. The way
we help others deal with it may be clouded by our own
experiences; for example, we may feel anxious because
we know how painful it can be, or we may have a strong
desire to ‘make everything better’. In the
helping role we have to be realistic about how much we
can achieve, be clear about our role and be aware of our
own limitations.
Sometimes parents have over-optimistic expectations, thinking
that you will be able to wave a magic wand and fix their
relationship. When working with parents it is easy to
be drawn into this idea. Remember that as a parent educator
you are there to support parents, to share information
and offer a friendly ear.
As
a parent educator your role is to:
Be interested and listen in
a non-judgmental way
Give information, time and
space
Be a learning resource
Facilitate discussion
Enable parents to reflect on
their situation
Open the door to explore
Model listening and other support
skills
Challenge gently
Be part of prevention and early
intervention
Signpost to other agencies
and services as appropriate
Your
role is NOT about:
Acting as a mediator
Giving the ‘answers’
Teaching conflict resolution
Being an expert
Sorting out people’s
problems
Statement of values
We recognise the diversity of family structures
and use ‘parents’as a generic
term that includes mothers, fathers, same-sex
parents, non-resident parents, foster parents,
grandparents and others in a parental role.
These materials can be adapted to meet the
needs of different gender, ethnic, cultural
and sub-cultural groups.
We think that parenting programmes need
to deal with relationship issues as well
as behavioural issues and believe our materials
are part of relationship education (which
can also affect behaviour).
We don’t think there is a single
‘right’way to be a parent. As
part of good practice, facilitators should
work with sensitivity and value and respect
each person’s experience.
We take a holistic approach, recognising
that problems have to be seen in their wider
context – e.g.children’s behaviour
may be related to parental conflict, their
family’s situation, or adult mental health
problems.
We have designed the modules as an integral
part of experiential learning, in which
participants learn, share knowledge and
support one another through discussion,
reflection and sharing personal experience
in a facilitated group.
Co-facilitating
We believe it’s good practice and often more effective
for facilitators to work in pairs (although we realise
this isn’t always possible). Taking time to prepare together
beforehand and de-brief afterwards helps the fluency and
quality of sessions.
Preparation time
Allow preparation time before delivering the modules,
so that you can familiarise yourself with them and adapt
them to the needs of your particular group. If co-facilitating
(which we recommend), always allow enough time to meet,
prepare and plan with your co-worker well before you are
due to deliver the modules.
Introduction and ground rules
A group agreement at the beginning of the training session
is always helpful, with particular emphasis on respecting
confidentiality and diversity. This helps to build trust
and safety in the group.
